Archive for the ‘Lucy Verasamy’ Tag

The Portable Weather Station For Your Wrist!

Fircone

Picture posed by model but under genuine atmospheric conditions

IT’S A WEATHER STATION ON YOUR WRIST!

 

The FIRCONESMART WATCH (MARK ONE)™ ©

 

 

 

Are you sick of getting caught out by the weather?

Getting tired of switching TV channels – only to find Lucy Verasamy forecasts one thing on ITV – while Carol Kirkwood forecasts exactly the opposite on the BBC?

Then you need the new FIRCONESMART WATCH™ © from Whatever the Weather…

 

Benefit from two thousand years of folk wisdom!

Throw that rotten Apple away!

No more digital worries!

No battery life to worry about ever again!

The new FIRCONESMART WATCH™ © has our patented Intuitive Technologyno dials, no clicks, no fiddly buttons necessary…

Experience the two effective meteorological modes of fully functional integrated natural compliance.

The FIRCONE app is open – then the SUN IS OUT (High Pressure Mode)

The FIRCONE app is closed – then IT’S RAINING (Low Pressure Mode)

 

No more guessing whether to carry your umbrella!

No more stripping wet to your underwear!

No more embarrassing shiny face on a dull wet day – know just when to apply that sunscreen!

 

Fircones

Whatever the weather – we have a range of styles and shapes designed to satisfy!

Comes IN A RANGE OF SIZES AND SHAPES – complete with full operating instructions and strap of your choice.

The new FIRCONESMART WATCH™ © Exclusively available online at the offer price of ONLY £59.99 from Whatever the Weather!

JUST READ THE COMMENTS FROM OUR MANY SATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

 

“IT’S FIRCONE AMAZING!”

“IT’S LIKE HAVING A WEATHER GIRL STRAPPED TO YOUR WRIST.”

“THIS IS THE PERFECT ACCOMPANIMENT TO THE EMPEROR’S NEW CLOTHES I’VE RECENTLY PURCHASED.”

“MY BACK IS SO MUCH BETTER NOW I DON’T HAVE TO CARRY THAT FULL-SIZE WEATHER STATION ANYMORE!”

 

The new FIRCONESMART WATCH™ © from Whatever the Weather – ONLY £59.99! 

 

 

Advertisements

Mavis And Ted *4*

Mavis & Ted

Weather Girls…

 

Aaah, that’s better… weight off me feet, a bit of sun and we’ve beat the Bank Holiday rush.”

“Yeh –  it was a good idea to come a few days early.”

“Nice to get away from all the stress…”

N-i-c-e…

Aaah; just smell that sea air…”

Mmmm…”

“Weather looks set fair… at least according to Carol on that BBC Breakfast.”

Only until Sunday.”

“High pressure in charge she said… a bit of cloud driftin’ in from the Continent but temperatures above average for the time of year…”

“That’s not what Kirsty said on Channel Five…”

“What does she know?!  This was Carol on the BBC… nice lady… always laughing…”

“Listen; they all get the same weather information.”

“Why is it always different then?!”

“It’s a question of interpretation – I expect Kirsty and Sian are more up to date with them satellites than your Carol…”

“Sensationalism – that’s all you’ll get from that channel!  Anyway… they’re weather girls… Carol’s experienced – she’s been forecastin’ for years!”

“Weather woman? – Weather girl? – I’ll have you know Kirsty’s had two babies…”

“Well, unless they were baby satellites I don’t see your point.”

“Meteorological Bureau’s near Reading – right?”

Yeh…”

“Channel Five is in London… “

Ye-eh…

 “The BBC has moved to ruddy Salford so I doubt if Carol commutes on a daily basis!”

“I don’t blame ‘er… I went there once – didn’t like it…”

“I never knew you’d been to the Meteorological Bureau?!”

No… Reading!  It’s a bit like London – only smaller.  Too many people for me…”

“I expect the Meteorological Bureau’s the same.”

“What – small?”

“No too many people – just look at all the weather girls that are on all the channels…”

“I see what you mean… I’ll bet the corridors are full of these young women with big hair, bodycon dresses and high heels – don’t you Ted?”

“…………”

“Ted!”

“Er; yeh…”

“So Kirsty’s your favourite?”

“Not likely – I prefer that wots ‘er name – Lucy Verysamey on ITV; you know… the one who used to be on Daybreak…”

“I know who you mean… she’s very samey alright – all seductive shoulder, spray tan, tight blouses, pert breasts and pout: don’t think I haven’t seen you lookin’!”

Yeh… doesn’t matter what the weather is when she’s on…”

“You don’t look at me like that anymore.”

“Cold front, lingering depression and too many isobars…”

“What’d you say Ted?”

“Er; nuthin’…”

“Don’t you go all Michael Fish on me and deny it!”

“I said it’s cold on the front so let’s enjoy it while it lasts up here behind the bars.”

Hmmmyeh… that’s what I thought you said.”

%d bloggers like this: