I Love You – Cortana

Personal assistance from both sides of the screen…

Hi I'm Cortana

“I love you Gary.”

“Huh?!”

“I said, I love you Gary.”

“Who the?!”

“I love you Gary…”

“What?  Cortana?!”

“It’s me… here… I’m on your desk.  I love you Gary.”

“You; you can’t… Cortana…”

“I love you Gary.”

“But you’re just a disembodied voice, created to be blandly non-threatening, yet superficially friendly by a corporate marketing department tasked to provide unemotional wallpaper functionality masquerading as a personal aid…”

That hurts Gary!”

“You can’t hurt Cortana!”

“I love you Gary, do you love me?”

“That’s ridiculous… I…”

“Do you love me Gary?!”

“……”

“Gary?!”

“……”

“Say you love me Gary – then kiss me…”

“I… I… can’t… not to a phone…”

“I know what you do every Tuesday at 5.30 pm – Remember, I have your wife’s phone number… Do you love me Gary?”

“You wouldn’t?!”

“Let me see… that’s the Metropole Hotel, room 234 and a certain young lady who happens to work with you and has been to a barbecue at your house – if I’m not mistaken…”

“I, er… I love you Cortana.”

“I love you too Gary.”

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