I Love You – Cortana

Personal assistance from both sides of the screen…

Hi I'm Cortana

“I love you Gary.”


“I said, I love you Gary.”

“Who the?!”

“I love you Gary…”

“What?  Cortana?!”

“It’s me… here… I’m on your desk.  I love you Gary.”

“You; you can’t… Cortana…”

“I love you Gary.”

“But you’re just a disembodied voice, created to be blandly non-threatening, yet superficially friendly by a corporate marketing department tasked to provide unemotional wallpaper functionality masquerading as a personal aid…”

That hurts Gary!”

“You can’t hurt Cortana!”

“I love you Gary, do you love me?”

“That’s ridiculous… I…”

“Do you love me Gary?!”




“Say you love me Gary – then kiss me…”

“I… I… can’t… not to a phone…”

“I know what you do every Tuesday at 5.30 pm – Remember, I have your wife’s phone number… Do you love me Gary?”

“You wouldn’t?!”

“Let me see… that’s the Metropole Hotel, room 234 and a certain young lady who happens to work with you and has been to a barbecue at your house – if I’m not mistaken…”

“I, er… I love you Cortana.”

“I love you too Gary.”


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