Kim Jong-Un’s Postcard From Pyongyang

pyongyang skyline

A postcard from… 

Greetings from orchestrated spontaneity of downtown Pyongyang!  Here sun always shine on people reflected from glorious leader.  Come holiday!  Except for western lackeys and curs of South Korean imperialism!

North Korea very clean… help by regular purge.  Eat dinner off streets like local custom.  We have best of both worlds… well I do.  People welcome tourists always smile.  If don’t sent on long holiday.  Enjoy… no come back.

"Courage comrade... they might have i-phone, consumer choice and women in miniskirt but we have marching and basketball."

“Courage comrade… they might have i-phone, McDonald’s and beautiful women in miniskirt but we have marching and exhibition basketball.”

We nuclear family.  All family dispute but we happy now filthy factionalist uncle gone.  Pyongyang groovy place to be!  Night time we have electric light.  People always gathering on spur of moment because love me!  We local saying… Be hip – be in Kim Il-sung square!  God bless big, big daddy!  Maybe you see me – supreme leader.  Give me wave?  Better if you do…

People dance with joy.  But no decadent!  No gangnam stylee!  No PSY!  No tolerate South Korean scum!  But we no killjoy.  I despot but no desperate!  Like all kind music – especially stirring call to arms that preface our great final victory.  Also song – Who let the dogs out?  My little joke… Why you no laugh!?

With wishes for gloriouKim Jong Uns revolutionary fervour,

Kim Jong-Un

…Pyongyang

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